Hey, it’s Jen. So glad you’re here! 🙂
If you’re anything like me…
You spend your days striving to grow, to get better, to reach your human potential… because you want to make something of yourself, and leave a lasting impact with your work, your art or your business endeavours.
But something keeps getting in the way, even though you go hard at everything in life with all you’ve got.
Even with all your accomplishments (big or small), deep down you feel:
You’re committed to winning at work and in life, but sometimes “success” seems to be further away the more you work towards it.
It’s like trying to hit a goddamn moving target.
You quietly wonder:
“When am I gonna get everything I’m striving for and finally be happy?”
Any of this sound familiar?
I’ve got good news for you…
I have felt this way pretty much most of my adult life, as I tried my hardest to ‘get ahead’.
I’ve chased success at the expense of my health and the most important and valuable relationships to me.
I knew I was hardworking, determined and ambitious… but all I did was drive myself into the ground thanks to my “all or nothing”, “go hard or go home” attitude.
Because all I’ve ever wanted to do, was to show my traditional Taiwanese parents that I could ‘make it on my own’.
Without going down the path they wished or wanted me to go down.
After falling on my face over and over through a myriad of jobs and business ideas… I was forced to course correct a bajillion times and learned countless life lessons along the way.
All the emotional scars weren’t for nothing though.
Because all the pain, the struggles, and the lessons paved the way for a life finally in alignment with my soul.
All the gut-wrenching agony I endured was worth it.
It always is.
It gave me a clear vision of a life I look forward to creating until my time here is up.
Because I know what I’m meant to be doing now.
I finally know what my life is for.
It’s a life where I get to create meaningful work (e.g. this website project), while making an impact in my own unique way.
A way that gives me lots of joy.
Which means a life I love that I don’t want to take a holiday from.
After turning 39 in March, and cancelling a 12 Day South Pacific cruise on my birthday week that my entire family looked forward to…
I’m sitting here content and grateful, to already have everything I need to live a good life.
As disappointing as cancelling a family holiday was (thanks to COVID-19)…
The cruise was a ‘nice addition’.
Icing on the cake.
Because, on top of all the basic essentials (yep, that includes toilet paper), I have 3 extra items that makes me even more grateful:
The basic fundamentals.
The simple things.
Without all the “stuff”, clutter, noise and the stress that comes with it.
Instead of torturing myself and forever playing the “comparison game”, I learned to focus on designing a life I wanted to live and following my own path.
Oh, by the way…
I’m writing this from my bedroom in a shared townhouse I rent.
That’s right, I don’t own a house.
I don’t have a job right now.
I don’t have a family, husband or kids.
I don’t even have any love interests.
I think I am just missing a cat. 😂
By society’s definition of success… I’d be classified as a ‘total loser’.
My parents must be so proud. Lol
The truth is…
I have never been happier with myself.
And that’s all that matters to me.
Over the last couple of ‘roller-coaster years’, I’ve slowly come to realise that I don’t need “material shit” like money, a high paying job, a business, a marriage, a family, a house, a fancy car or a man to be happy in life.
It took me a long time to get here.
But I’m glad I got here.
If you look at successful people who seem to ‘have it all’ on the outside…
A bunch of them turn to drugs or alcohol to numb themselves from the misery they feel on the inside…
Just to be able to deal with the ‘bullshit idea of success’ they’ve built up in their heads.
‘Externally successful people’ are the poster child of our society.
They are the ones we look up to and admire.
They get the glitz, the glamour, the fame, the status…
I get it. It’s kinda irresistible.
But it’s making people miserable.
Because we think we also need to have the same kind of success for our lives to mean something.
I wished the world’s definition of success is different.
But before I can change the world (or anyone for that matter), I needed to change myself first.
In my world…
Success = Happiness
I want happiness to be the world’s definition of success.
Can you imagine a world where people make decisions based on their happiness instead of money (and whatever shit $$$ buys them)?
I would like to live in that world.
But first, I need to be a voice for happiness.
I think it’s important. Don’t you?
My mission is to give you the clarity, courage and encouragement you need to “find your own happiness” through the content I produce on my site and in my newsletter.
Happiness is the goal in life.
That’s the game.
Find it within yourself, and you win!
The best part is… It makes you immune to ‘outside noise’.
People feel it in you when you have it, because it also lights them up.
Happiness is contagious. 😃
So I want to empower you to find your own version…
To not get trapped by society’s definition of success.
To get off the “success treadmill”.
To do what matters most to you.
To live the way you’ve always wanted to live (not how your parents or society wants you to live).
To be the person you most want to become.
That is what my content will be based on…
It will be a documented collection of the mental, emotional and spiritual breakthroughs I went through as I strived to find my own path and happiness.
Basically, I will be sharing and unpacking the underlying (invisible) inner-game barriers we all experience but keep buried away as we strive to achieve our goals.
In 2015, I had a deep realisation that I could not go as far as I wanted to go professionally (in business), without developing and growing myself first.
It was tough to face…
To look in the mirror…
To be brutality honest with myself…
To recognise all the holes, faults and traits I didn’t like about myself.
I’d been trying so friggin’ hard to ‘fill my bucket’, and make something of myself yet completely ignorant of the fact that my bucket had been leaking all this time.
My mentor at the time pointed this out:
“You cannot build a business without building yourself first. The business sits on top of you — the person.”
That’s the moment the penny dropped.
I realised I cannot have sustained and continuous professional growth without personal growth.
Sometimes, all it takes is to learn ‘how to see’.
Once you start adopting a different lens to view the world, you stop spinning your wheels…
You stop going around in circles.
You stop repeating the same damn mistakes.
You stop hitting an “invisible ceiling” every time you strive to reach your goals and stretch yourself.
Because you can start the process of fixing the right problem.
It was crystal clear the problem was me.
From that moment on, I made it my mission to become self aware so I can grow.
I started paying attention to myself.
I paid attention to the details. The devil is always in the details.
2015 was the year I decided to grow myself no matter what.
I knew everything I wanted in life lies beyond my personal growth.
Growth is a choice.
Choosing to grow takes courage.
It takes courage to be honest with yourself.
It takes courage to change the traits you don’t like about yourself.
It takes courage to recognise your demons.
It takes courage to continue to face your fears.
It takes courage to slay your dragons.
It’s a bloody MIRACLE to even think of myself as a ‘writer’ today.
Growing up, writing ‘words’ has always been a mega struggle.
The struggle started in school.
It was one of my biggest weaknesses.
I cringed at the thought of writing.
I never had a good relationship with WORDS.
It almost feels like they refused to come out of me.
I avoided it as much as I could in school. I purposely picked subjects that didn’t require much report or essay writing.
I also picked jobs where I wasn’t required to write.
The struggle became really obvious during creative writing classes in English and whenever I attempted to write songs in my spare time.
I hated English the most, but I loved Music the most.
I hated the fact that I couldn’t write words to my music.
Whenever I wrote something that felt creative, I wanted to throw it away and hoped nobody saw it.
The struggle continued throughout my professional career in business where I had to learn to write content on the websites I built…
I remember struggling so much to write content, that I ended up hiring writers to write articles for my sites for the first few years.
Even though I eventually discovered direct response marketing, understood the importance and value of ‘good copy’ for business, and invested in copywriting training in the hopes of becoming a good copywriter and a better marketer…
I still felt a wall of resistance whenever I sat down to write…
I’d just ‘push through it’.
Get it done.
Because I’ve always been good at pushing myself to get things done.
But pushing comes at a cost.
Pushing is not fun.
Pushing gets tiring over time.
For me, words ALWAYS came with resistance.
Until… resistance finally left my body for good in March 2020, as I emerged victorious from this life long battle.
I finally became comfortable and confident with my own voice.
I finally was able to adopt the identity of a ‘writer’ without fighting myself and feeling like a fraud.
Becoming a writer is something I never thought I’d be able to achieve in a million years growing up.
The thought has never even crossed my mind. It was not a career path I wanted or even considered.
Funny how life turned out.
I’m just super proud to see how far I’ve come. ☺️
Just goes to show that we all have the ability to ‘do the impossible’, if we learn to build our ‘courage muscles’ so we can slay our dragons and live our dreams.
Writing is still a challenge for me — it will always be a challenge because writing is an ‘art’, but the process has become way more enjoyable for me.
Now, I don’t need to ‘force’ or ‘push’ myself when I write.
And that is what I plan on writing an article about:
“How I overcame my life long fear of writing”
It’s gonna be a doozy… I’m guessing 2,000 to 5,000 words.
There’s a lot of stuff I need to ‘unpack’ for it to make sense.
It’ll take some time for me to produce and refine.
But that’s a given when creating any kind of meaningful work.
I think you’ll find it valuable if you also struggle with writing or pursuing other creative endeavours.
If you want to be notified when it’s published, then sign up to my “Behind The Brand” newsletter below.
I’ll let you know once it’s ready.
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